Something Borrowed

This week comes the resolution to an issue that I talked about several weeks ago–I really, really wanted a veil, but not to spend the outrageous price on buying a new one. Thanks to the fact that I have wonderful friends, that dream came true.

Borrowed Veil

Beautiful picture taken by Dave Allen at Just Hitched Photography

Isn’t it gorgeous? A huge thank you goes to my lovely friend Anna for lending me hers after reading about how badly I wanted one. I was a bit concerned at first that it wouldn’t go with my dress, but it turned out to look like they were nearly made for each other. I can’t wait to put them on for real!

In order to solve the issue of my fine hair not actually holding a veil up, I think I will have to tie my hair half up to stick the comb in, then take a bit of time to let it down and spruce it up again when the veil comes out. Honestly, I’m quite glad I only have to do this much primping for one day (3 hours have been scheduled to get ready before the wedding! 3. Whole. Hours.). It is quite unnatural for me to spend so many hours on my appearance.

A few months ago, I got my makeup done in order to figure out what to do and what to buy (my sister is doing it the day of, thanks sis!). But by the end of the makeover, I barely recognized myself! They had even covered up my freckles. I have a lot of freckles, and they are one of the features my partner loves about me. So why would I cover them up? Why would I wear so many pounds of make up to “look good for pictures”? Don’t I want to look back at those pictures and see myself, not someone who seems to resemble me?

For some reason, a bride is supposed to spend an inordinate amount of time trying to look like a perfect version of herself, instead of being the person that the groom wanted to marry in the first place. Well, cruel wedding industry, I’m not going to cover up my freckles. I am, however, going to try and cover these increasingly darkening circles under my eyes. Hopefully, they’ll get better on the honeymoon.

Stay tuned next week for the big shoe reveal you’ve all been waiting for!

That Thing I Just Can’t Let Go

I thought I could do it. I thought that I could get over the idea of having a veil–after all, it’s not easy for a person with my kind of hair. But I tried on that flower crown with the dress and had the realization that they just didn’t go together. No matter how I looked at it, it was just too rustic for my dress.

I stared at all of my jewelry equipment, my wire, my beads. I hoped for inspiration, and when I finally found it, it was…just okay. I put it on and thought “sure, it’ll go with it, and it looks nice with my earrings.” But I didn’t think “wow” or “that’s perfect”.

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As the wedding draws closer, so do my stress levels to my breaking point. I can’t even count the number of times people have tried to reassure me and tell me the details don’t matter that much, what’s important is the getting married and the celebration part. I try to believe it, tell myself that it’s true, but behind that thought I’m just trying to figure out that next wedding detail. That next thing that if I figure out how to do it, it’ll make everything that much more perfect.

What also bothers me is the carnage that gets left to the side of this process. I’ve bought quite a few crafty things with the intent to use them, only to realize that idea won’t fit, or there’s this other better way to do it.

Which is kind of what happened with the whole veil idea. I have had the tulle for several months. I bought the hair combs to test (and realized they wouldn’t work). I began to think that these items too, would fall by the wayside, to hopefully get used in some later endeavour.

But I realized that I want that veil desperately. It sits in the back of my mind, stressing me out because I want it to be beautiful. I want it to be embroidered, or have beads, or have lace around the edges. I want it to flow in the wind. I want it to hang properly and go with my outfit seamlessly.

Reality isn’t very much fun, sometimes. Veils are one of the most overpriced items in the industry (an average price of $350 for at most $50 worth of supplies and some work effort??). And while I did discover that a medium sized hair clip would work in my hair, I also discovered that if the veil gets too heavy, it will have the same issue as the plastic hair combs. Not to mention the fact that I have a ton of other wedding projects that are higher ranking for completion than some fancy item I’ll never ever wear again. Haven’t I already spent enough money on those?

What I truly don’t understand is why I care so much about it. I wasn’t one of those girls who planned out their wedding in every detail. I didn’t even think I had an image in my head of what I wanted it to be. And yet, I ended up with the most impractical wedding dress that has ever been made. So maybe I did have a plan after all. Now if only I could talk some sense into that little girl who made those plans.

The Plight of a Fine Haired Bride

I have fine, thin hair. It’s the kind of hair that one can easily tell where I play with it too much because the hair is shorter there. The kind of hair that doesn’t stand up well to hair-colouring (not that it stopped me very much). The kind of hair where clips slowly slide down my hair. And the kind of hair that those cloth hairbands that go all the way around your head make a weird bump in the back of it.

Yes, I have that kind of hair. For the most part, it hasn’t really bothered me, I’ve never been keen on wearing my hair up or fancy, anyway. But there are definitely times when I have wished that I could have thick, wavy hair. I can’t even fathom what it’s like to be a person who has enough hair to braid it into two thick braids.

What has caught me off-guard the most, however, is how difficult it is for someone like me to wear a veil. The hair combs put way too much pressure on a localized part of my hair–shockingly, I want to still have nice hair after my wedding day. Hair pins don’t really stay in my hair (unless a professional does it, they have a talent I do not possess). And if clips don’t work either…what am I left with?

The most logical next step would be to wear a headband and attach a veil to one of those. Unfortunately I am one of those people who also can’t wear headbands. The squeezing behind my ears gives me a headache. It makes no sense to me why all headbands try to squeeze the life out of my head. Apparently Goody used to make some “comfort tip” headbands, but no longer does. And there’s a stellar looking company in the UK that doesn’t ship to North America (even if they didn’t cost an arm and a leg). So no, headbands won’t work either.

The very last option was something I had dismissed initially, a flower crown. I had dismissed it because my dress is anything but bohemian in style. I call it my princess dress for good reason. But since I wanted to wear something in my hair, and it was my last option, I brought it out, did some googling, and found my inspiration in this gorgeous flower crown from The Honeycomb on etsy. It was simple, elegant, and just might be able to be passed off with a princess dress.

So after a 1 hour trip to Micheals (thank goodness my fiance is so patient with me!), I came home with well equipped to tackle my last option.

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A work in progress – all the big flowers were on, but the little pearl “buds” weren’t attached yet

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The final product: made with wrapped wire, brown flower tape, fake white blossoms, dried eucalyptus and fake pearls.

In the end, it turned out beautiful, but very little like my inspiration. It will be a bit of an adjustment from what I had planned on wearing, but I think there’s enough time before the wedding for me to get used to the idea.

I am still wondering whether to even bother trying to attach some tulle to it to make a veil–it may just pull the flower crown right off my head. I can just see it now, mid-vows, tears streaming down my face, and flower crown hanging partway down my back. The pictures would be memorable, to say the least.

It’s funny how we imagine our weddings to be a certain way–I never for a second questioned whether I would be wearing a veil until very recently. It’s a stupid little detail, yet somehow, it seems so significant in the mess that is wedding planning.

Nonetheless, it’s time to pick up and move on to some other stupid little detail, as the big day draws inexorably closer. There’s only 82 days left, after all.

What’s the thing you always imagined having at your wedding but had to give up?