Bubbles

Bubbles are wonderful. I love trying to blow the biggest one possible, or just a million tiny ones. The way they lazily float up into the sky, colours constantly shifting. Then they disappear, and I blow some more.

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I even live in a bubble.

(No, not literally, although that would be super awesome.)

I live in a safe neighbourhood. I always have. Things like homelessness are something I pass by uncomfortably. I feel enormous guilt every time I walk by a pan handler. I have so much, and they have so little…but I was warned over and over by my parents that giving a little is never enough. If you give to one person, then the next will expect it, or the same person the next day will expect it. I don’t know entirely if this is true, but I haven’t tested it. And I don’t really want to give someone the money to make their lives worse. I have contemplated many times buying grocery store gift cards and giving those out instead. I haven’t actually done it. Does that make me a bad person?

Violence is something that I read about in other people’s lives, I have never experienced it. I hope I am lucky enough to never experience it. I hope no one I care about ever does or ever has. And yet, statistically speaking, at least one of my friends is hiding something. 1 in 4 women are the victims of sexual assault. 1 in 4. That statistic terrifies me. Which one of them is hiding a harrowing past?

I have popped a few of my bubbles, over the years. The biggest being the reality of the treatment of animals in today’s agriculture. I had been avoiding knowing the truth because I didn’t want to give up the holy grail of non-veganism: cheese. But I did. And it was totally worth it. If it weren’t for going vegan, we may not have found our amazing (raw vegan) wedding caterer. And there are so many wonderful vegan/vegetarian stores and restaurants and the people there are so wonderful. It’s this little community that I get to be a part of and it makes me a bit teary. People have asked me whether I still like being a vegan and the truth is that actually LOVE it! I cannot even remotely imagine going back. Being vegan is awesome (and not as hard as I thought it was!).

I’ve also popped smaller bubbles, like thinking I’d have to give up on things that I truly want in a relationship (like spending an inordinate amount of time with one person). Or that university after high school is the only way to go.

Some days I think that I should pop some more bubbles, and live in the reality of the world. But the reality of the world is so devastating, that I don’t know if I could take it day in and day out. There’s a reason I avoid watching the news and reading newspapers.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if the media was less concerned about viewership/readership and more concerned with actual news. Then, maybe, my bubbles wouldn’t feel so necessary.

What’s your biggest bubble? Do you want to keep it or are you struggling to let go of it?

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Perspective

So it’s time to write my blog post for the week, and I’m struck with the idea that I’ve started to write them all for the readers. I have lost motivation to write posts because my readership is down, so what’s the point of doing it if no one is reading?

But then I realize, it’s about writing about things that mean something to me. And when I think of it that way, there are subjects to write about. I have a lot of interests. Maybe I’ve been exhausting them with fan fridays. Maybe, I was just too busy with my midlife (okay, quarterlife) crisis and my priorities have changed. It doesn’t really matter. What matters is that I’m here, now, and I’m going to write something dammit.

I bet, at this point, you’re wondering what my quarterlife crisis was about. And if you’re not, well, too bad, I’m telling you anyway.

I graduated highschool and 2 months later started my B.Sc. at university. I graduated university and started at my current workplace the day after my convocation ceremony (no joke). That was 4.5 years ago. I never took that extended time to off to travel and “discover myself”. I often wonder what I missed out on. Would I be less of a pain in the butt a better person right now, if I’d been forced out of my comfort zone for several months at a time? Would I be tougher when it comes to the bumps in the road of life? Or would I be in a padded cell?

It seemed like something was missing, and that if I just went on that adventure, then I’d feel fulfilled at life. So it was very appropriate timing that my job sent me to a seminar that gave some very powerful advice.

If you think that if you just have that one thing, and then you will be happy, you’re wrong. If you think that if you just have that one thing, then you can do all these other things, well, that’s a different story.

I’m paraphrasing a lot. But that was my takeaway message. So I looked at my life and my list of wants and I realized that I have a pretty awesome life. I have a job where they like and, more importantly, value me. I have mostly awesome coworkers, who I enjoy getting to work with. My current frustrations with my job will pass.

Sure, we don’t own our own house yet (we probably never will, in Vancouver), but that doesn’t make our current place any less wonderful. We were so excited when we found this apartment that we went from viewing to signing the contract in 2 days. Why would I want to rush away from it?

I got to marry the most wonderful person. I still get all teary-eyed over how perfect we are for each other. (Yes, I am a sap, got something to say about it?)

Yes, life sucks sometimes, and there are hard days, but all it took was a few key words to shock me out of my overall stupor. Either make the best of what you have, or change it. Right now, I have awesome things, and the only thing I need to change is my perspective.

And perspective truly is everything.