The Perfect Proposal

It is expected, thanks to movies and tv shows, that the best wedding proposals are the epic, romantic, never-saw-it-coming proposals. Those are, in fact, the only ones worth having. Otherwise, might as well just return him/her, he/she is obviously broken.

I must start out by admitting, that’s what I thought I wanted. I wanted the romantic dinner (or walk/weekend getaway/etc.), the surprise down on one knee, the displaying of the perfect ring he had managed to pick out all by himself…But in reality? I’m far too impatient for things like that. With all the weddings I attended last summer, my brain kicked into overdrive–I wanted to get married, dammit!

So, we started talking. Figuring out (mostly just confirming) that we want the same things in the future, including getting married. Eventually, when it started coming to light that he couldn’t handle my impatience anymore (yes, I was pretty bad, but it wasn’t my fault, I swear!), we started a little pre-planning.

He suggested that he’d like to design a ring for me, so that it was as unique and special as I am to him. (Seriously, is that not the most romantic thing ever?) Obviously, I wasn’t saying no to that. But there was a caveat: he wanted my opinion. At least to give him a general idea of what I wanted. So I did. And then I waited, while he tried to give life to his design. I hate waiting.

Finally, he found a jeweller who refined his design. My wonderful partner decided he wanted my final say, just to make sure they got the right type of stone. Needless to say, I was excited. We left work a bit early and went to meet the jeweller. The design that had started with my partner had been further refined into something gorgeous. It was everything I wanted: low profile so I wouldn’t smack it on things, sturdy so stones wouldn’t fall out when I did smack it on things, and, of course, beautiful. The last decision was mine: did I want a light blue sapphire or a colour change sapphire?┬áThe light blue sapphire was cheaper, but the awesomeness of the colour change sapphire was the clear winner in the end. The deposit was put down and then they told us we’d have to wait 4 weeks. 4 whole weeks!

And no matter how many times I asked him whether he’d heard from the jewellers, he wouldn’t tell me. He valiantly evaded that question up until the last.

Then, one day, we were sitting in the car, heading away for the weekend to visit family. I had just finished asking him the question not five minutes beforehand. We were chatting about random things, when he fills the silence by sharing, “So, when I went to the jewellers today, they wanted to take down my credit card number and my driver’s license in order to take my cheque.”

I couldn’t help it, I laughed. I laughed even harder when the look of realization came across his face. All that work, all that effort to surprise, and he was just so used to sharing things with me, he let that slip.

Very kindly, he agreed to not torture me for an indefinitely longer period of time, and took me to the nearest park. He sat next to me and told me he loved me, and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Then he got down on one knee, opened the ring box, and I can’t remember much other than he said some very wonderful things to me, but all I could see was that ring.

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I still remember how blue the sapphire looked in the sun that day. And how for some reason I was panicked it would never turn blue again when night fell and it was purple. But what I remember most is that he loves and trusts me so much that he tells me everything. Even when he’s not intending to.

It was the best proposal I could’ve asked for.

All that hype about proposals having to be a big, romantic surprise is a lie. The best proposals are the ones that lead to you marrying the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. That’s all there really is to it.

The Engagement Watch

Not too long before we got engaged, I came upon the realization that the engagement ring is a bit of a one-sided thing. The woman gets a (usually expensive) very pretty ring, and the man gets…the promise of marriage. Which is great! But the whole thing seemed a tad archaic for my liking. Something like putting a “This Belongs To:” sticker on something to indicate it’s yours. Not to mention the one-sided financial drain.

To correct for this, I had a discussion with my partner, in which he said, “no, I will not wear an engagement ring”. Apparently it’s not manly enough. But what he did say yes to was the idea of a watch. A nice, sophisticated watch. So we did some online searching and then went to a wonderful local store to find the right watch (because less time spent shopping in store is always a good thing!). By the time we got there, we had an idea of brand, style, and price range. The final choice ended up being not the same watch as we went in for, but definitely the right watch.

And you know what? A couple of people have even asked, “Is that the new tradition these days?” Personally, I think it should be.

But that’s just me.