There are a few “holidays” where it’s awesome if you can participate, but unpleasant if you can’t. For instance, Valentine’s Day. I was not one of those people who gracefully ignored it during my single days. I jumped on board the train that called it “Single’s Awareness Day”. Because that’s what it does, it makes you aware of the fact that you don’t have this person that the world is telling you that you should.
Multiply this by about 1000, and that is how I feel about Mother’s Day. It, and all the advertisements leading up to it, serve as constant reminders that my mother is not around. They make me extremely aware of this piece that I am missing, that I know I should have, and in my dreams, sometimes, I still have.
It would be easy to say, “well, why don’t you just ignore it?”. That requires that I stop checking my emails, listening to the radio, watching tv, walking by bus stops, going into stores, taking transit, glancing at fliers, looking at etsy, scrolling through pinterest….So maybe, if I just stayed at home for the 2 weeks leading up to it, and didn’t touch the internet or television or radio, maybe then, I could avoid it. (In reality, I would go insane in a few days, if I tried to do that–who wouldn’t?)
I hope, one day, I will be able to honour my mom, and her memory, with all these reminders. And instead of reminding me of the loss, it will remind me of all the wonderful times we had together. But for now, it hurts. Every reminder hurts.
I think it’s easy to forget, on the other side, how painful this is for some people. So I guess this is my plea: If you know someone who lost their mom or dad, be cognizant of how difficult Mother’s or Father’s day might be for that person. That’s it. Just keep it in mind.
Thank you for reading! I will do my best to have a happier, craftier post up next!