Perspective

So it’s time to write my blog post for the week, and I’m struck with the idea that I’ve started to write them all for the readers. I have lost motivation to write posts because my readership is down, so what’s the point of doing it if no one is reading?

But then I realize, it’s about writing about things that mean something to me. And when I think of it that way, there are subjects to write about. I have a lot of interests. Maybe I’ve been exhausting them with fan fridays. Maybe, I was just too busy with my midlife (okay, quarterlife) crisis and my priorities have changed. It doesn’t really matter. What matters is that I’m here, now, and I’m going to write something dammit.

I bet, at this point, you’re wondering what my quarterlife crisis was about. And if you’re not, well, too bad, I’m telling you anyway.

I graduated highschool and 2 months later started my B.Sc. at university. I graduated university and started at my current workplace the day after my convocation ceremony (no joke). That was 4.5 years ago. I never took that extended time to off to travel and “discover myself”. I often wonder what I missed out on. Would I be less of a pain in the butt a better person right now, if I’d been forced out of my comfort zone for several months at a time? Would I be tougher when it comes to the bumps in the road of life? Or would I be in a padded cell?

It seemed like something was missing, and that if I just went on that adventure, then I’d feel fulfilled at life. So it was very appropriate timing that my job sent me to a seminar that gave some very powerful advice.

If you think that if you just have that one thing, and then you will be happy, you’re wrong. If you think that if you just have that one thing, then you can do all these other things, well, that’s a different story.

I’m paraphrasing a lot. But that was my takeaway message. So I looked at my life and my list of wants and I realized that I have a pretty awesome life. I have a job where they like and, more importantly, value me. I have mostly awesome coworkers, who I enjoy getting to work with. My current frustrations with my job will pass.

Sure, we don’t own our own house yet (we probably never will, in Vancouver), but that doesn’t make our current place any less wonderful. We were so excited when we found this apartment that we went from viewing to signing the contract in 2 days. Why would I want to rush away from it?

I got to marry the most wonderful person. I still get all teary-eyed over how perfect we are for each other. (Yes, I am a sap, got something to say about it?)

Yes, life sucks sometimes, and there are hard days, but all it took was a few key words to shock me out of my overall stupor. Either make the best of what you have, or change it. Right now, I have awesome things, and the only thing I need to change is my perspective.

And perspective truly is everything.

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Web Search Answer Session

What there seems to be a real lack of in this world is sarcastic resources. So today, I’m going to take some of the more interesting search queries that have landed on my blog and answer them. Because let’s face it, what the world needs is more sarcasm, and I have lots to go around.

“engagement sarcasm”

I’m not sure why you’d be looking for this, unless you’re subtly trying to hint that the couple isn’t good for each other. But perhaps you’re looking for sarcasm like, “wow, she agreed to marry you?” or perhaps, “You guys only waited 10 years to get engaged? Are you sure you’re not rushing into this?”

“sarcasm about equality”

“Man, it was so much better when women just stayed at home where they belong. You know, instead of making a difference in the world, adding a second income to families to cope with the rising cost of living, and intimidating men who think women should all be dumber than them.”

“a sarcastic way to ask where is my birthday present”

This person and I must be related somehow. Because that’s exactly what I’d want to do. Something like, “I hope you forgot my birthday present this year, because I really didn’t want one.” But the dripping sarcasm must be very clear, otherwise they just may take you seriously.

“sarcastic recipe for a happy marriage”

Well, I don’t know about your marriage, but mine is full of sarcasm (2 parts love, 1 part communication, and 2 parts sarcasm). But if you really want a sarcastic recipe, I’d go with this:

  • 1 part love
  • 1 part trust
  • 1 part not being a moron

(Seriously, if you can avoid being a moron, things tend to go a lot better overall.)

Now, lots of people are looking for physical expressions of sarcasm, but as far as I can tell, it doesn’t exist. I spent weeks trying to come up with something when I redesigned my logo! Nonetheless, I truly wish I had the answers to the following queries (and if you do, please share!):

  • sarcastic birthday presents
  • cake idea for someone who is sarcastic
  • sarcastic wedding cake topper
  • sarcastic halloween costumes

And lastly, I must share these few that I really just want to know, what the heck were they hoping to find?

  • sarcastic crochet
  • sarcastic womens shoes images
  • sarcastic homemaker video
  • sarcastic facebook photo with the word gauche

All in all, I’m pretty pleased that people are finding my blog while looking to enhance their acts of sarcasm. I do hope that this post will help make the world a more sarcastic place.

What are some of your favourite web queries that have led people to your blog?

Wedding Planning: Lessons Learned

Having survived planning and executing my wedding, I feel that it is time to share some of the wisdom I have gained through the process.

Do

1) Hire awesome vendors — don’t waste your time or money on vendors who are wishy-washy or ignore your wishes. We were told by one vendor that they couldn’t make a vegan tiered cake–it just couldn’t be done! Instead of giving up, we found another vendor that said, “Of course we can do that!”, much to my joy and admiration. (I may have had a crush on that particular vendor. She always gave me the best news.) It turned out to be an amazing cake! It was so amazing that I am mostly looking forward to our first anniversary for the cake.

As you can see, the cake is tiered. (Photo by Julia, my new sister-in-law)

As you can see, the cake is tiered. (Photo by Julia, my new sister-in-law)

2) Go in with a clear idea of what you want — this stems from the previous item. We did sign on with a flower place, and I was very uncomfortable with our conversations up to that point. It felt like I was being ignored. But the truth is, we’d gone in there expecting someone to bring our dreams to life…without telling them what those dreams were. The next time we met, we had a better conversation where we were more firm in what we wanted and envisioned. The end result was totally amazing.

3) Don’t DIY just to save money — take it from someone who spent a LOT of time making things for our wedding. I made those things because I wanted to, and while there were a few moments of “why would we buy this when we could make it?”, the majority of it was a labour of love. In the end, I’m not entirely sure how much money we really saved–I doubt it was enough to cover the loss of sanity if you weren’t doing it out of want.

4) Make a schedule — if you have an event planner managing everything for you, then you can ignore this one. But if you’re doing this yourself, definitely, definitely make a big ol’ spreadsheet with a schedule. One sheet per day, as long as before and after it is relevant. Our wedding was on a Sunday and we had sheets for the Thursday – Monday. The key points are “When”, “What”, and “Who”. On the actual day of, you want those “when” boxes to all be filled in–so that the person who is managing the schedule for you understands what is supposed to be going on. (Don’t do it yourself!) If you can do this, then it actually becomes possible to let go on the day of.

5) Become A Practical Bride, and ignore all the other wedding related media — the wedding industry is a big money trap. It will try to convince you that you need various things to have a “real” wedding. The truth is, you don’t. Once I stopped reading all those other blogs, I became much more in tune with what I wanted for the wedding. And a lot less panicked about what I didn’t have yet.

Don’t

1) Get caught in the DIY trap — there were a couple projects that I had planned on doing and eventually realized it wasn’t worth the sanity loss. At this point, I can’t even remember what they were, so you can tell how important they were to the overall day of.

2) Expect people to change just for your wedding day — this is an important one. You must embrace people as they are, no matter what day it is. I definitely lost a bit of sleep when I realized that, no, my wedding day was not going to be the magical day of exception. Eventually, you get over it. But it’s really better to just go into things understanding that.

3) Get attached to any one thing — the only thing that really has to happen on your wedding day is to get married. Everything else is just gravy.

4) Skip the honeymoon — it’s a pretty big event, and even just giving yourselves 3 or 4 days afterwards to take everything in is a really good idea. After our wedding wrapped up at around 5 pm, we spent the rest of the evening just going over and revelling in everything that happened. (And eating more cake.) It also took me at least 4 days into the honeymoon to stop freaking out about little things.

That’s it! But I’m sure there’s lots of other awesome advice out there, so…

What’s the best advice you would give, after your wedding? If you’re not married, does any of this advice seem particularly helpful to you?