I thought I could do it. I thought that I could get over the idea of having a veil–after all, it’s not easy for a person with my kind of hair. But I tried on that flower crown with the dress and had the realization that they just didn’t go together. No matter how I looked at it, it was just too rustic for my dress.
I stared at all of my jewelry equipment, my wire, my beads. I hoped for inspiration, and when I finally found it, it was…just okay. I put it on and thought “sure, it’ll go with it, and it looks nice with my earrings.” But I didn’t think “wow” or “that’s perfect”.
As the wedding draws closer, so do my stress levels to my breaking point. I can’t even count the number of times people have tried to reassure me and tell me the details don’t matter that much, what’s important is the getting married and the celebration part. I try to believe it, tell myself that it’s true, but behind that thought I’m just trying to figure out that next wedding detail. That next thing that if I figure out how to do it, it’ll make everything that much more perfect.
What also bothers me is the carnage that gets left to the side of this process. I’ve bought quite a few crafty things with the intent to use them, only to realize that idea won’t fit, or there’s this other better way to do it.
Which is kind of what happened with the whole veil idea. I have had the tulle for several months. I bought the hair combs to test (and realized they wouldn’t work). I began to think that these items too, would fall by the wayside, to hopefully get used in some later endeavour.
But I realized that I want that veil desperately. It sits in the back of my mind, stressing me out because I want it to be beautiful. I want it to be embroidered, or have beads, or have lace around the edges. I want it to flow in the wind. I want it to hang properly and go with my outfit seamlessly.
Reality isn’t very much fun, sometimes. Veils are one of the most overpriced items in the industry (an average price of $350 for at most $50 worth of supplies and some work effort??). And while I did discover that a medium sized hair clip would work in my hair, I also discovered that if the veil gets too heavy, it will have the same issue as the plastic hair combs. Not to mention the fact that I have a ton of other wedding projects that are higher ranking for completion than some fancy item I’ll never ever wear again. Haven’t I already spent enough money on those?
What I truly don’t understand is why I care so much about it. I wasn’t one of those girls who planned out their wedding in every detail. I didn’t even think I had an image in my head of what I wanted it to be. And yet, I ended up with the most impractical wedding dress that has ever been made. So maybe I did have a plan after all. Now if only I could talk some sense into that little girl who made those plans.