Why I Will Never Be a Mrs.

We’re in the middle of a move and nearly all of my craft and baking accoutrements are packed away. Bereft of material for a blog post, I am left with only one option: sharing one of my own personal viewpoints. So, I present you with:

Mrs. vs Ms.

It comes down to equality (not feminism!). If a man is a Mr. when he comes of age, why is a woman only a Mrs. when she gets married? Is a woman lesser if she never gets married? I don’t think so. I would expect my friends and colleagues to respect me equally whether I am married or not. So why is the distinction necessary?

The truth is, about a year ago, I stopped filling in Miss as my “salutation” and began choosing “Ms” instead. As a self-sufficient woman in my mid-twenties, I don’t really qualify as a “Miss” anymore. I’m old. Not ancient, but definitely getting up there. I have “life experience”, and I want people to treat me like I do, not just because I am or am not married.

The weirdest part is that this issue was always something my mom was vehement on. She was a feminist at heart, so I always thought she was being a bit overzealous and brushed it off. But as I approach marriage myself, I find myself understanding more and more her point of view. And embracing it. Truth be told, I don’t know if I would if she was still with us. It’s funny how we fight becoming our parents when they’re alive, but when they’re gone, we struggle to capture their essence in a permanent way.

So when I get married, no matter what my last name becomes, I will be a Ms. And before I get married, I will still be a Ms. Because I deserve to be judged by more than my marital status.


4 thoughts on “Why I Will Never Be a Mrs.

  1. WORD to all of this. I feel very much the same way.

    Just to say on the the judgement note – I really feel like this too. It’s also a big identity thing for me. Why should I give up any part of my identity as it is now to be someone different because of who I marry? Changing my name or how I’m addressed is so linked to who I am. I just can’t ever in a million years even see myself taking another man’s name. I’ve declared since I was 5 that I’d always be a Mulloy girl.

    • I’m having a hard time with the name decision. On the one hand, my last name IS very linked with my identity. But on the other, I feel like a family is more of a family when all of them have the same last name. Half of me wants to try and convince my partner to mash our last names and have both of us use that instead 😛

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